A co-worker of mine came into the office with a bit of a concern look on his face this morning. I always try to remain extra friendly with this dude because he's super quiet and reserved. A little too quite and reserved if you know what I mean. Like, if someone was to lose their mind and do something shady - it's this guy. So I don't want to be on his (s)hit list of any kind. I make it a point to include him - make him feel welcome and that he matters.
blah blah blah
He came in, looked concerned.
"Morning, Fitz! You doing okay?" I asked.
"Huh? Yeah, I suppose" he replied.
My internal red flags are going up all over the place.
"Doesn't sound convincing, bro. You sure you okay?"
I see the red color of blush/embarrassment coming into his face and he says, "Can I tell you something. Get your opinion on a very personal matter?"
"Uh... is this going to get weird?"
"Stop. This is serious."
"Yeah, man. What's up?"
"This morning, my stomach was hurting a little more than usual so I made my way to the bathroom to... you know."
"I got you. You shit. Where is this headed?" I pushed.
"I don't know why but before I flush, I always look at it to see what kind... stuff ...I made and I noticed that..."
"...dude. I don't think..."
"THIS IS SERIOUS! I noticed that my poop was... puffy ...it was puffier than usual. I had puff poop."
After what felt like 10 minutes of blank stares and silence, I lost it laughing. I genuinely thought Fitz was making a joke or something and he deadpanned his way through it like a damn pro. When I saw his face turn twenty sheets of a deeper red, I realized he was serious.
Before I could get out the obvious questions (what do you mean by puffy? Did it look like Puff Daddy? Did you touch it to confirm that it was in fact puffy? etc.) he darted for the door.
I feel bad(ish) about it and instead of checking on him, I thought I'd share the story with you jack asses so you have to wonder as well.
blah blah blah
He came in, looked concerned.
"Morning, Fitz! You doing okay?" I asked.
"Huh? Yeah, I suppose" he replied.
My internal red flags are going up all over the place.
"Doesn't sound convincing, bro. You sure you okay?"
I see the red color of blush/embarrassment coming into his face and he says, "Can I tell you something. Get your opinion on a very personal matter?"
"Uh... is this going to get weird?"
"Stop. This is serious."
"Yeah, man. What's up?"
"This morning, my stomach was hurting a little more than usual so I made my way to the bathroom to... you know."
"I got you. You shit. Where is this headed?" I pushed.
"I don't know why but before I flush, I always look at it to see what kind... stuff ...I made and I noticed that..."
"...dude. I don't think..."
"THIS IS SERIOUS! I noticed that my poop was... puffy ...it was puffier than usual. I had puff poop."
After what felt like 10 minutes of blank stares and silence, I lost it laughing. I genuinely thought Fitz was making a joke or something and he deadpanned his way through it like a damn pro. When I saw his face turn twenty sheets of a deeper red, I realized he was serious.
Before I could get out the obvious questions (what do you mean by puffy? Did it look like Puff Daddy? Did you touch it to confirm that it was in fact puffy? etc.) he darted for the door.
I feel bad(ish) about it and instead of checking on him, I thought I'd share the story with you jack asses so you have to wonder as well.
