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Cave Herf

bwhite220

Hug Master
Rating - 100%
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My local B&M set up a Herf inside a local cave. The even happened last night and it did not go so well. It was pretty awesome in theory but the execution of the event brought things to light (or, into the dark) that no one anticipated.

First off, holy crap it's awesome inside this cave! The people who own the cave had a trail of lights that we had to follow to get down into "the room". I am extremely claustrophobic so I was pretty nervous going into the event but they assured me that there were no tight areas. They were right - there was only one spot where I had to bend at the torso and it was for maybe 10 steps. Once you make it to "the room" where we were herfing, the whole place just opened up. It was HUGE.

Also, it was rather cold outside last night - hovering around 33 degrees. But once you got into the belly of this cave, it was around 68 degrees or so. I wore my jacket and I was doing really well.

Now, occasionally, someone would pull the cord that the strands of lights were plugged into that lit the way and the room. It was pretty cool and creepy as hell to experience absolute darkness. They always plugged them back in right before my claustrophobia kicked in. It was cool to only see the embers of our cigars lit. Tried to get a pic of it but it didn't turn out too well.

Anyway, they pulled the plug out to show the latest group that arrived and then it happened. ...or, it didn't. The flipping lights had a short from all the unplugging/plugging. Guys! Total. Freaking. Darkness. None of us had flashlights (other than our phones) and the owners took us down to the belly but didn't stay as they are not fans of cigar smoke. It was like I was at the beginning of where a horror movie starts to take a turn for the worst.

Panic. This is how my life was going to end. I kept thinking how I'd never get to send my friends a coffee mug of me in leather chaps wearing unspeakable that @Pennywise827 sent me. How I'd never get to give @GoBISON that shirtless man hug that he has been begging me for. How I'd never get to whisper sweet nothings into @Glassman, @Unpossible_1, @irratebass, and @Lok17's ears as they sleep so sweetly at HBH. How I'd never get to see @Opie and @BigFatPanda finally make that "midget scrotum sandwiches" cookbook that they have been working on. I might not ever get to witness @Mjones9630 or @BigSkySmoke's "get high Herfs" again.

We made it out of the cave. I still haven't fully recovered emotionally. I hope we do it again. :)
 
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Bostoneo

The Chosen One
Staff member
Rating - 100%
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could you see each others eyes in the dark to?

images
 

irratebass

Churchill
Rating - 100%
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Cool story/idea for a herf, too bad no pics. I too am claustrophobic.

How many junks did you grab/caress in the dark? C'mon, admit it you know you did, you're obsessed with male genitalia, and this is the perfect opportunity to reach out and gently nudge Carl's member, you know the guy that works in mail room that has been eyeing you in a weird way,,,,,yeah him....or that other guy, c'mon admit it, no one could see you Total. Freaking. Darkness. junks were grabbed.....spill it.
 

bwhite220

Hug Master
Rating - 100%
1   0   0
Cool story/idea for a herf, too bad no pics. I too am claustrophobic.

How many junks did you grab/caress in the dark? C'mon, admit it you know you did, you're obsessed with male genitalia, and this is the perfect opportunity to reach out and gently nudge Carl's member, you know the guy that works in mail room that has been eyeing you in a weird way,,,,,yeah him....or that other guy, c'mon admit it, no one could see you Total. Freaking. Darkness. junks were grabbed.....spill it.
What is wrong with you?
 

BigFatPanda

Escaped primate
Rating - 100%
7   0   0
just hanging in their tight trousers calling to you "B....B.....B.......touch us" You were sweating with fear, but with the lights out it's a smorgasbord of peni. The funny thing is none of the gentlemen you fondled said a word............did they?

The 'members' were calling out to him?
Did their voices sound like their owners, but higher pitched? Like a toddler sucking on helium?
Or were they lower, like a Barry White/Eeyore love child?

Either way... yikes.

But what I really came here to say, is that the entire situation Mickey described sounds like an Alternative Rock band:
Trouser Schlongs, with their debut album, 'Penis Calling'.

Come to think of it, it also sounds like something @Pennywise827 would listen to, and try to talk me into downloading.
 

irratebass

Churchill
Rating - 100%
19   0   0
The 'members' were calling out to him?
Did their voices sound like their owners, but higher pitched? Like a toddler sucking on helium?
Or were they lower, like a Barry White/Eeyore love child?

Either way... yikes.

But what I really came here to say, is that the entire situation Mickey described sounds like an Alternative Rock band:
Trouser Schlongs, with their debut album, 'Penis Calling'.

Come to think of it, it also sounds like something @Pennywise827 would listen to, and try to talk me into downloading.

Have to ask B this was his sausage party.......get it? SAUSAGE party!!!

Love that band name! Should've made that my fake Rock Band /Guitar Hero band name....has more a ring to it than Gladys The Groovy Mule
 

BigFatPanda

Escaped primate
Rating - 100%
7   0   0
W
And yes Harlan thinks anything heavier than Harry Connick Jr is grunge.

Surprise Arizona raisin ranchers.....I tell ya.

Who?
Don't know who that is, but I was raised on AC/DC, Megadeth, Maiden, Ozzy, etc.

Some Crue and Ratt thrown in to get the chicks dancing.

Motorhead and Slayer when it's time to lift...

Then y'all and your Seattle foolishness came along and ruined a 50+ year run of kids enjoying life.

Bastages.

Dang Trouser Shlong fans.

<shakes fist at some distant clouds>
 
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